Mental Health Awareness Week 2024
Representing Mental Health:
authenticity, autobiography & autonomy in games
CONTENT WARNING: discussion of suicide, child abuse and (of course) various mental health issues. Thank you for reading, and remember to take time for yourself should you need it. These words will still be here when you come back.
In this conversation are Alyx Jones and Elizabeth Plant.
Alyx is the founder and many-hat-wearer of Silver Script Games, the fledgeling studio developing The Quiet Things – an autobiographical game about mental health issues surrounding childhood abuse and trauma. The game is based on personal and official documentation of her own lived experience with mental health, though names and places are changed. She’s an absolute beacon of resilience and creativity across various fields, primarily music and sound, and has worked on countless titles to ensure all voices are heard equally.
Elizabeth is Glowmade’s community manager, dedicated to the power of human connection that interactive experiences can drive. Beyond Glowmade, she’s a professional voice actor and writer-director, also enamoured with sound – more specifically, how the human voice transcends barriers of the fictional and becomes our vehicle for understanding stories. She has been in love with The Quiet Things since its first demo, and is desperate to unpack its process and beginnings.
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ALYX
It’s a weird one – I feel every day like I’m doing the coolest stuff, or the dream job, and it’s like: “I don’t want it to stop!” But you’re also over-stimulated all the time, because it’s all really exciting… So I’m glad you reached out, I’m glad I get a moment to breathe and reflect.
ELIZABETH
Yeah, I can imagine! Though thankfully the demo was amazing, so if that’s any indication of where it’s headed…
ALYX
Let’s hope!
ELIZABETH
To start, let’s be as generic as possible.
In your own words, what is The Quiet Things?
ALYX
I’d best describe the game as a narrative-based walking simulator, which happens to be based on my life and the struggles I had with my mental health as a kid and teenager.
It’s called The Quiet Things because it’s about a lot of the things you wouldn’t necessarily speak about, but equally it’s not all doom and gloom and miserable. It’s still exploring the human condition and what it is to learn about yourself, and be a teenager, and relate to other people. There are light-hearted moments as well.
ELIZABETH
Like Wolfie – that’s his name, right?
ALYX
Yes! Yes, little Wolfie.
ELIZABETH
World’s best plushie.
I mean, what you’ve said is basically tied into the nature of authenticity the game has, thanks to its autobiographical perspective – y’know, like life, it’s up and down. The whole project must’ve been a big leap to take, because it’s all very well having a book that’s an autobiography, but a game – where everything is much more intimate and the player is an active participant – would feel like this whole other world. At least, in my experience as a creative.
What made you want to pursue all this?
ALYX
For me, around university was the first time that I’d started talking about the stuff that had happened to me to my peers. Not a lot, because I didn’t want to carry everything I’d been through to this ‘fresh start’ of being who I wanted to be beyond the ‘troubled kid.’
School was awful, something like 30% attendance, and college was a bit better, but all in all, university was where I really felt like myself. Which is amazing, if you look at the statistics of children in Care going to uni, let alone post-grad – which is something like only 2%, so it was a lot for me, but I’m so happy I did it.
I really love narrative-simulator walking-style games, and I think Dear Esther was the first that I really played when I was a student.
ELIZABETH
Oh, wow, I remember that one! So pretty.
ALYX
I’m sure That Dragon, Cancer came up at some point in our lectures too. This was round the time I was really trying to figure out what the games industry was, and the artistic side of it – the more left-field kind of games. It stuck with me because I adore dialogue and the human voice, and this game was basically just walking round and hearing that, but it’s so fulfilling to do. I didn’t feel there was anything missing from it, and I’m sure lots of people felt like that or else it wouldn’t have been so successful.
Dear Esther was the first experience I had of that kind of game. By time I was doing my Masters degree in music composition, because of my proximity to Guildford, I somehow ended up taking part in all sorts of game jams, but then there would be too many audio people in a group, and panic because there’s no programmer, and I just thought, “Alright, I’ll make it! Let’s do this!”
ELIZABETH
Amazing, you’re just like me right there.
ALYX
Well, you learn that way! So for my MA, our final project was to create an EP. But I wanted to make an EP inside a game.
ELIZABETH
Because why not?
ALYX
Why not, exactly. But that was basically the prototype for Quiet Things. It was the start of me putting things out there more publicly, and people were really supportive about it. And I just thought, “Hang on. All this stuff that I’ve been carrying around, that’s some dark secret I’ll be ostracised for – all the fear and the actions of not talking about it are the actual reason I feel like an outsider.” Learning that, too, was really helpful because I’ve been able to grow from it, and use it in a creative way to express myself. In music, in games, in just talking to people to tell my story, and now that prototype is clearly evolved into something much more.
ELIZABETH
Well, I’m glad it has. I think there’s a lot to be said about the line that art and authenticity and these kinds of interactive experiences all walk together, as that key means of forming a connection to it and to each other. Which I guess brings me to my next question…
Sensitivity and authenticity in representation! How can it be done, and done well?
ELIZABETH
In media, there’s a lot of it. There’s a lot of villains who’re schizophrenic, for instance; or to look at the Silent Hill games, which I love, it’s a whole… thing. Some parts are done extremely poignantly, and others can be very grotesque and on the nose.
ALYX
Oh, yes… I think we see more extremes in horror games, perhaps, and maybe that’s not something people can relate to as much, because they’re probably not a murderer.
ELIZABETH
“Probably.”
ALYX
I mean, murderers need rep too! But, equally, doing that maybe opens the door for games like Hellblade to come in and change things. Games that’re doing good things, new things, and are consulting with people that actually have lived experience of it. Not just writing a character of what they think schizophrenia looks like.
ELIZABETH
Absolutely.
ALYX
There’s a place for both, I think, and I’m not going to rag on ‘bad’ representation too much, because it’s a fictional work, right? But it is important, especially for people that have real experience of these things to see themselves represented appropriately and accurately.
ELIZABETH
And just more frequently, I would also say. We don’t need characters to hold up little flags that say “I’m depressed” to drive the idea home, but we do need to see more variety of the kinds of roles those characters play.
ALYX
For sure. Frequency would also play a big part in humanising, or exploring representation that much better. Obviously, not every mentally ill person’s experience is going to be the same – one person with depression will experience it vastly differently to someone else with depression. Even things like ADHD, some of the markers for that are almost the opposites for how it can affect people.
ELIZABETH
Hyperfocus or No Focus! Awful TV show idea for you. I mean, the challenge comes from trying to represent things that are so personal and varied, but we’ve got to start somewhere.
ALYX
Yeah. For us, because Quiet Things is one story – and it’s my experience – it’s easy enough for me to know what that was. I have my diary that I wrote during that time, so it’s not even based on what I think I remember, it’s based on reality. Plus what I can remember, and other documentation: social services records, and police records, and all of these factual documents.
When it comes to representation with games like this, it’s a hard balance of not wanting to upset or traumatise someone, but not watering down the experiences – because when you start doing that, it’s not the truth anymore. And people are gonna think, “Well, my version of this and what I feel is so extreme. I’m not normal.” And I don’t want to push people away; that’s the opposite of my intention.
You have to be truthful to what happened, but equally give players options to duck out if it isn’t for them. You have to make those heavy hits because otherwise people aren’t going to understand the gravity of situations like this, and there’s no hope of them ever changing.
ELIZABETH
Ooh. Good answer.
You mentioned Hellblade, and how they obviously had an absolute wealth of research behind it. They’re almost a poster child for the care that should be taken in representing things like mental health in the industry, but it’s a shame that in the 7 or so years since its release, there really hasn’t been an equal to it. Given its critical acclaim, you’d almost have thought it a great incentive for other studios or stories to attempt something of a similar scope.
ALYX
I guess with anything tackling taboo topics, like Senua’s psychosis, it’s a game of risks. They can make for amazing narrative and creative experiences, but it’s easier to work with a gameplay loop or writing path that’s more straightforward. Which is a shame, but I hope more indie or small companies try someday for the risks that the AAA won’t.
ELIZABETH
But the writing is a big thing that I feel is still quite achievable, without too much risk. If you’re writing on a topic you don’t understand, or don’t have lived experience of, there are for sure ways to circumvent that. Sensitivity reading, or focus groups, and just bringing in someone who does have the experience for critique.
ALYX
I can agree with that. As I was growing up, one of the things that always struck me about suicide in movies is that often people come running, in this big dramatic moment, and they save you! And I was like… “That doesn’t happen to me.” I would’ve died if I hadn’t asked for help. And I think that’s the case for a lot of people.
ELIZABETH
Gosh. Yeah. Your example has much more weight than mine, when I thought of it. Which is that I hate in movies when you see teenagers texting on-screen and it’s all grammatically correct and every sentence is capitalised. Like, nobody talks like that, grow up!
So, we’ve established Quiet Things is autobiographical. Which is just gorgeous to see in the gaming landscape, because for me games are so much about connection, and there’s no purer way of doing that than presenting a story that isn’t just fiction.
How much do you lean into the autobiography?
ELIZABETH
As you say, you have all the diaries, the government documentation, but some parts are still grey or just memory. What kind of balance is there for you, in keeping raw material and what do you change, or fictionalise?
ALYX
I have three diaries, and it’s very lucky I still have them, because otherwise it would be a very different game – if we tried to make it all from memory. I leave stuff out if it’s not really helpful, if it’s just waffle of a kid talking about a dog–
ELIZABETH
No, that’s very important, put it back in right now!
ALYX
Okay, for you, you’ve twisted my arm…! I shortened or added bits in to humanise the different characters, with daily life stuff, but if I put every single thing in, the game would get a bit silly-long.
ELIZABETH
It’s more like an editing process than a rewrite.
ALYX
Yeah, yeah. It’s about what’s important for the story, and the themes we’re covering. So all the diary entries, particularly the teenage ones, are word for word. Other than names, and places, and all that legal stuff that I’d never keep the same. You have to protect people, even if they haven’t done anything wrong.
My social services records aren’t themselves in the game, but it informs a lot of how I write the script. We have [my] social worker in the game, but when you’re casting for characters, you have to give the actor an expectation of how to get into the skin of this character. Equally, I have to be able to put myself into the shoes of these people I never really knew the full motivations of, even just to write the casting sides. It’s tricky, trying to understand the mind of my abuser while being on the other side of the fence. So that element of things is more fictional.
Most of the scripts are written from memory, or in conjunction with diary entries. I would say it’s true to my memory, but of course there’s only so much that is ever like the perfect truth. There’s no scenarios that’re completely fabricated.
ELIZABETH
Because that wouldn’t be the point of the whole thing, really.
ALYX
Yeah. Like, there’s not exactly a ‘happy ending’ of people getting taken to court and prosecuted, because that just isn’t the reality for a lot of people, and it wasn’t the reality for me. So there’s no point going, “Yay, here’s this lovely resolution,” when the story, my life and experiences, are still happening and that wasn’t how it ended anyway.
ELIZABETH
It’s a delicate balance of objectivity versus subjectivity going on. And it must be a very compelling writing exercise, just conceptually.
I imagine it’s also quite difficult to adapt memory and fact and what ‘truth’ is to you? From my own experience in writing for performance, there’s all sorts of barriers that come up with injecting ‘too much’ of ourselves into a piece, emotionally and logistically.
ALYX
Logistically is definitely the one that’s hard. I think the script writing’s okay. I do so much in the game – game design, programming, music, blah blah blah – if I don’t fancy it one day, I can just do something else. And then, when I feel in the right headspace, I can do it. Ultimately, that’s the great thing of being in charge of it.
ELIZABETH
Oh, yeah, the joy of a small, independent company!
ALYX
Yeah, not working for a corporate that’s like, “Needs to be done tomorrow!”
I think people often ask, “How do you cope with it?” But I’ve kind of already dealt with all the stuff, otherwise I wouldn’t be functioning as an adult. Naturally it has an impact, but you don’t get better from these things, you just learn to live with it.
ELIZABETH
I can very strongly relate to that, as someone who is Chronically Ill. There is no, y’know, magic pill for any of this. You can be told by doctors that it’s all in your head, and to an extent it is – mentality can impact a lot – but it’s also this very visceral, full-body experience and weight that you just have to carry every day. Figure out what limbs to move, and how to function with them, regardless of if my Spoons or Anxiety are at a 3 or an 8.
I think that’s what I appreciate so much about Quiet Things. It’s a very gentle game, walking-sim as you say, but it doesn’t pull its punches. You can take it at your own pace, which is a nice departure from the reality of life.
ALYX
Yeah, true. I didn’t get a Pause Button!
ELIZABETH
Exactly! But it’s still so nice to experience the rawness of stories like this, and get to reflect on the careful decisions that’re behind it.
What’s your process for working with actors?
ELIZABETH
You mentioned casting and audition sides, so let’s unpack that a little more. I’ve never worked on an autobiographical piece, though I imagine it’d be quite a different experience to crafting a character performance that’s pure fiction.
ALYX
I’ve been very lucky to be around the dialogue world for the last five years – none of which were autobiographical – so I can compare a little.
The main thing we do is, because everything in the game has changed to different names and places, we treat it like a different person’s story. Everyone’s aware that it’s my story, but we always talk about the characters, and especially Alice the protagonist, in third person. We don’t go, “Alyx, how was that for you?” We go, “What was Alice thinking here?”
I actually let Kirsty, our voice director, drive most of it, because she knows what she’s doing. I’m honestly not there to get it close to what the real thing was, because it still has to fit a game and the kind of performances that go with it.
There’s also scenarios where, for really intense stuff like crying or screaming, we’ll only do one or two takes of it. We’re not gonna put the actor through that again just to make sure it sounds 100% believable. And Kirsty is brilliant for advocating for what’s best for the actors.
ELIZABETH
Wow, I wish! Whenever I’ve a live session, it’s always, “Oh, Liz, you’re being hacked to death with a chainsaw – let’s do six takes in a row to get it right!”
ALYX
Yeah, that’s rough on anyone. So we try very hard not to do that. Because I know roughly what the word-count is for what we can get done in an hour, we lower that, so that we have more time to breathe and take a break if we need to.
ELIZABETH
Oh, that’s brilliant. That’s a lovely way of doing it.
ALYX
It’s a narrative game, and the dialogue is what’s most important, so there’s no point in churning through stuff. You’ve got to be afforded that space and time to understand what you’re saying and think about it.
And we have a Wellbeing Facilitator, in all our sessions that deal with problematic content. In hindsight, I wish we’d had one for Dave’s first sessions, but we hadn’t booked anyone else at that point. We were still making recordings for the demo, we didn’t even have further funding: we didn’t know if we’d be continuing the game if we couldn’t afford it.
ELIZABETH
It’s a valuable learning curve, for sure. I’m very glad you have one, and that you’re able to make such a safe environment for your cast.
ALYX
I wish we’d done it from the start, but now it’s a set point in our process. But there actually isn’t a designated agency or resource for doing it in the games industry, so we used 6ft From The Spotlight – who generally work with TV, theatre, film stuff. They basically provide support before, during, after the session, so they can also advocate for the actor and voice director.
ELIZABETH
Oof, I’m jealous now…
You mentioned earlier that you loved voices in particular – I’m exactly the same, it’s why I pursue VA myself – and they can so often absolutely make a story or emotional connection. Sound’s both totally ephemeral and long-lasting, because a good performance can stick with you for a while, so I guess what I wanted to know is…
Has anything unexpected come out of hearing this story performed?
ALYX
So, Dave Jones plays my father in the game. Surrounding him are these undertones of domestic violence and very strict upbringings, and compared to some of the other content, I didn’t think it was all that bad. But it is. And when you’re a parent, as well, that’s upsetting – to think that someone does that kind of thing. And I didn’t necessarily have that outside perspective, but Dave did because he is a parent.
That, I think, made me realise the weight of all those sections; because, if anything, more people will have experienced that kind of parenting as a child than most of the other content in the game.
What do you foresee/hope for the future of mental health representation in games?
ALYX
I hope that we see more stories like this. I think the documentary/autobiography area is quite untapped, but it’s a cool thing to be able to do – to literally walk in someone else’s shoes through a game. It might give people a different perspective of things if they can do that. I think we should be sharing these things and having a deeper understanding of each other as people. And, frighteningly, the more I talk to people about The Quiet Things, the more I realise I have in common with people that I never would’ve known about, because we just don’t talk about mental health like we should.
ELIZABETH
I hope for more ingenuity and experimentation with more than just story and characters. Representations that feel multifaceted, and have influence over gameplay, mechanics, level design and more audio-visual elements. Willingness to be more abstract, and trust audiences to understand and interpret.
Wishlist The Quiet Things on Steam:
